I’ve worked at Showpo for over 18 months now and I still remember raising my eyebrows at some of the items I found on site when I started.
Now I certainly still do raise my caterpillars at some of the things we sell (I will never understand the ‘conductor hat‘ trend) but I’ve learnt to (mostly) keep my trap shut, as no one cares what I think and the buyers are doing a pretty phenomenal job of giving the people what they want.
But lately, I’ve noticed some REALLY strange things on site, particularly splashed across the beauty pages… So let’s poke fun at them and try to figure out WTF they actually do, shall we?
Note: Most of these continuously sell out, so peeps are obvs buying them!
Oval makeupMakeup(Cosmetics) are substances or products used to enhance or alter the appearance or fragrance of the body. Many cosmetics are designed for use of applying to the face and hair. They are generally mixtures of chemical compounds; some being derived from natural sources (such as coconut oil), and some being synthetics.Common cosmetics include lipstickLipstick is a cosmetic product containing pigments, oils, waxes, and emollients that apply color, texture, and protection to the lips., mascara, eye shadow, foundation, rouge, skin cleansers and skin lotions, shampoo, hairstyling products (gel, hair spray, etc.), perfume and cologne. Brush Set
These look like spoons. Or spoon-shaped toothbrushes…
I will admit that I tried them once though, and they did blend like a boss. But still…??
Yes, they may be extremely practical, but as Chloe Morello aptly pointed out, it’s the same as wearing pads under your eyes. I like to just do my eyes BEFORE face and then you don’t need either. (Srsly buying team, pls don’t get me fired).
Surely the horn would hurt?
LED Flash Lashes In White
Firstly, why do we need flashing lights on our lashes? The glitter trend is extra enough, ok!? I also imagine getting water splashed onto my face and getting electrocuted which I KNOW won’t actually happen but you know, LED near my eyes scares the shite outta me.
Key To My Heart sunglassesSunglasses are a form of protective eyewear designed primarily to prevent bright sunlight and high-energy visible light from damaging or discomforting the eyes. They can sometimes also function as a visual aid, as variously termed spectacles or glasses exist, featuring lenses that are colored, polarized or darkened.
Why are these fashionable again?
Hydrating Flower Lipstick
Why, WHY is clear lipstick a thing? Is it not a gloss or balm in that case? Oh no, they have to try and be fancy by moulding it with fucking flowers inside
Chateau Labiotte Wine Lip Tint
Because a normal pot of lip tint isn’t extra enough.
Bubble Tea Overnight Gel Mask
So I’m not sure who loved bubble tea drinks so much that they thought it was a swell idea to… well, to create a face mask version? But it’s weird and I just don’t get it.
Revive Facial Cleansing Brush
Don’t worry (or sorry to disappoint -whatever floats your boat) but Showpo HASN’T started stocking vibrators. Just questionable facial cleansing brushes that look remarkedly like a Clarisonic at a fraction of the price tag.
Sushi Fridge Magnets
a) these are so gross! I mean, I hate fish to begin with, let alone fake ones stuck on my fridge
b) that’s not what sushi looks like…
Crystal Glitter Makeup Brush
When normal brushes aren’t extra enough and/or you’re actually a magpie who can’t resist SPARKLES.
Girl On Point Rechargeable Selfie Ring Light
This one kills me ???? I imagine the scenario of them being used goes down like this…
Friend: ‘Oh let’s take a selfie, we look cute’
Me: ‘wait, let me find my portable ring light, it’s in my bag, we’ll look lit AF’
Cherry Lip Mask
When lip balm just doesn’t cut it…?
LOL, perfect for those days when you wake up and think ‘ok so today I just really want holographic, metallic liner strips on my eyeballs, is that TOO MUCH TO ASK’.
Cactus Neon Light
The perfect reading lamp for those who like odd things/cacti.
Egg White Pore Mask
I have no words…